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New York’s Daniel Nardicio- I’m Not A Sex Party Promoter (But . . .)
“I don’t think anybody ‘needs’ sleaze, but if the definition of sleaze is correct: Marked by inferior or low quality’ then I feel like it’s important for people to see that there’s another side to life: beyond just that aggressively ambitious worker drone mentality.”
When New York listings magazine the Village Voice published an article headlined ‘the End of Public Sex- Why isn't anyone fucking anymore?’, the star of the piece was Skrufff contributor and party promoter Daniel Nardicio- a man they dubbed ‘a veteran of the battle to bring sleaze to the masses’.
Chatting to Skrufff this week Daniel queries the mag’s description (‘Jeez, that makes me sound so old’) though otherwise agrees with their assessment.
“I want people to recognise that there are freaks out there,” he explains, “To accept that people do have sleazy sex, and that those people have as much to bring to the table as a banker or a yuppie- and we contribute,” he explains.
He’s also virulently opposed to moral issues against public sex, pointing out ‘it’s been around for centuries’.
“Plus, what are morals?” Daniel continues.
“I detest trying to label something as moral or immoral- 100 years ago a woman would be considered a harlot for showing a clavicle- a clavicle! Now women can pretty much go topless in New York City. Does that mean we’re immoral now? No, it means that times change and people change their opinions, and that’s why it means nothing. Fuck Morals- I do believe in ethics, however,” he adds.
As well as promoting legendarily debauched underwear party Tigerbeat (shut down by New York’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene following ‘complaints about sexual activity’ as the Voice puts it) Daniel runs gay dating portal D-List though agrees with the Voice’s assertion that younger gays are ‘more interested in fashionista kiss-kiss cocktail soirees’ than sex parties.
“We’re in an age right now where people are living in fear: of war, AIDS, depression etc and I think the young kids are terrified by how they come across,” he muses, “The only images they see in the media are of wildly successful kids who are 19 and there’s a lot of concern that they don’t present themselves as a mess. Which is why they love watching Britney fall apart!” He’s also less than impressed with the sleaze factoring in the rest of the States.
“I can’t speak for your side of the pond (Europe), but it’s the whole of the USA,” he said, “I spent a week in San Francisco last month and there was a thrilling air of non-conformity to some degree, and of course also in New Orleans, but by and large, people want to look fashionable, put together and sane. In other words BORING- look at the Oscars- where are the fashion disasters? Nobody takes chances anymore cause they all have stylists.”
Skrufff: Speaking to the Voice you said ‘the 21-year-old are interested in dating," Nardicio notes. "There's a lot less self-hatred.": sounds like you think that's a bad thing?
Daniel Nardicio: “I think it’s a great thing. They’re living such better lives now, instead of 30 years ago. I was lucky, my mother was too drunk to worry about my coming out, but now kids are coming out in an age where the presidential candidates talk about gay marriage. Do you know how affirming for some kid in Kansas that must be? Look, I’m not saying 21 year old show be getting his ass rammed in a sling but what I find sad is that those who do are ashamed, or worried now they’ll end up on Xtube.
Skrufff: How do you handle feelings of jealousy? Do you ever get jealous? Or feel the urge to keep a man all to yourself)
Daniel Nardicio: “Yes, I felt jealous about Charlie, the Mancunian I fell in love with two years ago- I think that nowadays I make better choices than I did when I was 20- in other words, if I get a whiff of the guy being shady, I bolt immediately. In the past I would have stayed in the relationship and had my heart broken and then wondered why?”
Skrufff: Have you ever been 'in love': had your heart broken?
Daniel Nardicio: “Oddly enough, people think because I throw parties where ANYTHING can happen, that I must be f**king everything that walks, riddled with AIDS and incapable of human warmth. That’s sex-phobia. I once did an interview where I was asked about promiscuity, and I said- talking about the TV show Friends that while Joey was wildly promiscuous he was portrayed as a lovable scamp. But if he’d been gay, society would have demonized him as sick, or depraved.
For the record, I’m NOT a sex party promoter, or AIDS riddled. I’m a guy who believes that we should let people have fun and be responsible for our own choices, and if you want to have sex, have it, if not, go watch ‘Golden Girls’.
Of course I have had my heart broken- twice to be exact- and I’d do it all over again just to feel have that rush of being so into someone you don’t want to do anything but be with them.”
Skrufff: What about the dangers of HIV from public sex: how do you answer critics who suggest public sex parties could help spread HIV?
Daniel Nardicio: “Look, you are 100% responsible for your own life. If you go to a sex party and have unsafe sex, you would most likely have done it at home also. Now if a sex party promoter doesn’t have condoms available, then he’s a douchebag. But it’s not his fault if you get HIV then. We have to stop blaming people in this society for what happens to us. That said- I think it’s always a bad idea for a gay guy to get fucked in a bar. It’s messy, could be disastrous, and is very unladylike. Love yourself enough to get penetrated in a bed like the lady you are. Let your inner Lady Get Pampered. I may make that a T-shirt! And have a great pride.”
http://www.nycpride.org (New York Pride march: From 5th Ave. & 52nd St. to Christopher & Greenwich St. Sunday, June 29th, 2008, Noon – End)
http://www.csd-berlin.de
http://www.dlist.com Article by Jonty Skrufff Subscribe to Skrufff music newsletter at www.Skrufff.com
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