Footballer Freed Over Phil Collins Fisticuffs

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard was found not guilty of assault this week, despite being caught on video punching a man three times in a row over music at Southport nightclub the Lounge Inn.

The England star, who in the past had admitted his favourite album of all time is Phil Collins’ Greatest Hits, thumped Marcus McGee, 34, three times, after the bar manager refused to allow him to put his own music on, prompting a typically cynical response from Sunday Times columnist Rod Liddle.

“An important legal precedent has been set in the trial of the Liverpool footballer Steven Gerrard. It is henceforth acceptable to smash a disc jockey in the face if they won’t play a Phil Collins record,” Liddle quipped.

“We do not know if this jurisdiction also applies to the work of (Lady In Red) Chris de Burgh – perhaps their lordships could clear this up.” he scoffed.

Liddle’s mockery reflected the UK press’ long- held antipathy towards the hugely successful singer, summed up neatly by the Guardian’s Kieron Tyler in 2007 who noted ‘rock snobs agree that Phil Collins is inescapably naff’.

Tyler, however, disagreed, branding Collins’ ‘Britain's soul man supreme’ and pointing out the massive esteem America’s hip-hop community have long held him in (culminating in Bone Thugs-N-Harmony making him honorary member ‘Chrome Bone’ when they covered his hit Take Me Home in 2002.)

Collins’ credibility was earlier enhanced in the late 80s by American Psycho’s (fictional) lead character Patrick Bateman, who memorably enthused about his work as he orchestrated a murderous threesome with two escorts.

“Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent,” Bateman tells call girls ‘Sabrina’ and ‘Christy’.

“Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds,” the killer continues as he orchestrates the orgy, “Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it (Christy's pussy),” he commands.

Article by Jonty Skrufff (http://skrufff.com)

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