Haircut Credit Crunch Crisis

Cropped, edgy haircuts are replacing long flowing hairstyles as a direct result of the credit crunch, according to a report in the Independent On Sunday in July.

 "People enjoy fewer material pleasures in periods of recession, so want more visual pleasures,” Cambridge University cultural economist Susanna
Sallstrom-Matthews told the paper, “And there's more variation among short haircuts than long."

Wild-haired lothario Mr No from Motor was unimpressed, however, telling Skrufff he has absolutely no intention of cutting his hair short, whatever the economic circumstances.

“The last time I chopped all my hair off wasn't much of a good experience, girls stopped chatting me up and boys thought I was a thug. I was so lonely that I got myself a dog that I found in the street- the party was over,” he complained.

The notoriously homophobic (and curiously gay looking) French star said he’s had his hair cut just 14 times since 1998 ‘by this old fag dude from Kentish Town’ though admitted he remains committed to his girlie ‘Camden cut (‘long at the front, short at the back’).

“People treat me generally good because of my hair,” he sniffed, “I get queers buying me drinks in Soho when I shave or girls chatting me up when I don't shave, it's a win-win situation,” he laughed.

Long haired electro Brit Ade Fenton told Skrufff he has his hair cut ‘about once every six weeks at Toni & Guy for £40 a pop; Luckily it's off-settable against my tax bill’ though said like Mr No he has no intention of going short.

“There’s no one particular reason I keep it long, I just like having it,’ the Gary Numan producer explained, “There’s also a lot of fat, bald, ugly or stupid people around and strangely enough, they’re always the first to take the piss so it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.”

Article by Jonty Skrufff (

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