Waste Disposal experts in Germany revealed this week that they’ve started exposing raw sewage to prolonged bouts of Mozart, after discovering the microbes break down quicker when exposed to his classical music.

“My theory as to why it works is that Mozart managed to transpose universal laws of nature into his music,” sewage musical maestro Anton Stuck told the Guardian, “So why not microbes? After all they’re living organisms just like us,” he surmised.

His views struck a curious chord with 60-something (some-might say shit) music producer Peter Gabriel who in the same issue of the Guardian revealed that he believes humans are ‘pretty irrelevant and vulnerable’.

“We see ourselves as these autonomous self-determining gods of the universe,” the former Genesis front-man opined, “Whereas actually we’re these little parasites that crawl on the skin of the planet.” (Guardian)

The German scientist’s revelations emerged seven years after a US survey revealed that almost one in ten Americans are so scared of sewage bugs that they routinely flush toilets using their feet, a tactic canny bathroom accessory company ‘The Toilet Seat Lifter’ implicitly endorsed. (http://www.toiletseatlifter.com/ )

"The American Medical Association reports that after touching a toilet seat just one time, it takes at least five consecutive hand washings to get rid of most of the germs and bacteria," the company’s official website pointed out, "It is very possible to catch a cold or influenza from touching a toilet."

Article by Jonty Skrufff (http://skrufff.com): Follow Jonty on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jontyskrufff

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